I started this concoction with a craving. I saw bagels sitting on the counter and thought about how appropriate bagels were for breakfast and that, now, it was breakfast time. How auspicious. I needed something more than just a bagel, though. A bagel with grilled onions sounded just divine. Then maybe I should spice it up a bit and use some Tapatio hot sauce. I thought to myself, cheese could really tie together the hot sauce and the grilled onions. While I’m at it, I really like a mix of grilled onions and fresh onions, so I may as well have fresh onions on the sandwich, too.

While grilling the onions, I found some pineapple in the fridge. “Pineapples?”, you ask. Yes, pineapples. Let’s grill those. You know what would go great with pineapple? Green peppers. I sliced them into neat little circles. And you know what else would go great with pineapple? Mole.

That’s right. I made a breakfast sandwich with cheese, grilled onion, fresh onion, green pepper, pineapple and mole with a splash of Tapatio. It was amazingly delicious.

• cheese blend mozzarella, provolone, asiago (italian blend)
• cheddar
• onions
• green pepper
• pineapple
• butter
• mole
• Tapatio hot sauce
• Bagel

• 3 Stone ground whole wheat flat-bread wraps (you can use any kind of tortilla)
• 3 eggs
• 6 tablespoons refried black beans
• 3 tablespoons sour cream
• Salt
• Pepper
• Chili powder
• Tapatio
• Butter

This recipe is simple. Throw a couple tabs of butter into a hot pan, break three eggs into the pan after the butter is sizzling and break the yolks with your spatula. I never whisk my scrambled eggs, I just break the yolks and give a couple stirs then season while the eggs are still liquid. To season, just dash some salt, pepper and chili powder by which time the eggs should be solid enough on the bottom to fold in half.

While the eggs are finishing, spread two tablespoons of refried black beans on each tortilla and then you can flip your eggs over. I usually do this in one pan where my eggs only take up half and I only need the half of the tortilla with the beans on it to feel the heat from the pan. I’ll cook one tortilla at a time and slice off a portion of egg topping with tapatio and sour cream then give a partial roll (this will burn your fingers) before placing the burrito on a surface to cool before rolling.

That’s it. That’s the formula. Layer of refried black beans, scrambled egg, tapatio, sour cream then tuck and roll. This will make you three burritos. If you serve this with something else you can feed three people. Two of these by themselves filled me up to where I could have not eaten a couple bites and still been full. Enjoy.

• 5 lbs chicken breasts with bones and skin
• 1 c flour
• 1 tsp rosemary
• 1 c buttermilk
• dash hot sauce
• 4 c cornflakes, crushed
• salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Spread salt and pepper over the chicken and let it sit for 10-15 minutes. You can use this time to prepare other food or conversely feed the cat, put gel in your hair, etc.

If your cat is properly fed then add some more salt and pepper to the buttermilk in a large bowl. Chop the rosemary. Fresh rosemary is the best, but at $3.00 for a little pack you either need to grow your own, you can even use that hydroponics set up from your failed weed-growing venture, or get dried. Dried works as long as it’s fresh. So, add the rosemary and hot sauce to the buttermilk and put the chicken in there and let it soak 20-30 minutes.

Feed the cat again or maybe reorganize your stamp collection.

Okay. This part requires three semi-large bowls. If you don’t have bowls Tupperware works. If you don’t have Tupperware, consult your nearest Tupperware party.

Drain the buttermilk into a bowl. Put the flour and cornflakes in bowls as well. Coat the chicken in the flour, then the buttermilk and finally roll it in the cornflakes.

FInally place your chicken on baking sheets and bake for about 45 minutes or until there is no pink left. It’s really good! Try it!

My sis and my coz can both attest to my last foray into indulgence. She also pointed out to me that some of her favorite dishes that I have prepared came from a drunken stupor. Like the time I made scones and I didn’t have the right ingredients but somehow, magically, we still ended up with scones.

I’d like to start measuring the correlation of my drunkenness to my ability to whip something up. I will liken it to the ‘uncanny valley‘ factor. The more drunk I get, the better the food is. Until I hit the valley. Then anything produced after that point will be met with revulsion. Am I making any sense here?

We took a squarish four cheese Costco frozen pizza out of the fridge and started pre-heating the oven. This is where some of my philosophy for food comes in. I am sure there were plenty of ingredients we could have put on this pizza to make it more nutritious and more appetizing, but I always go with the ingredients that look like they need to be used. Items that are almost gone and will get thrown out if not used with other things.

I saw a quarter of a red onion and a quarter of a roma tomato in the fridge. Perfect. These things naturally taste good on pizzas. Especially with each other. I also cannot resist placing fresh garlic on frozen pizzas. If you ever have a frozen pizza and fresh garlic in the house, it is a must. Being drunk, I was feeling adventurous. Hell, I’ve had pizzas with tomatoes and onions on them before, but have I ever had a pizza with pimentos on it?

Tonight was the night to find out. After the pimentos made it to the pizza I started feeling a little more adventurous and thought that some more green would help the pizza taste and look yummy. Tarragon. I haven’t used tarragon very much in the past so I used that as an excuse to use some now. After this I realized I wanted some spice in my pizza. Tapatio. Tapatio is one of the best hot sauces out there, it has no vinegar.

We were just about done but then I realized that no pizza can be harmed with some oregano. So in went the oregano and out came the pizza eight minutes later because after all the chopping and dicing, the pizza was almost done.

I can’t describe how amazed I was with myself. At first I just attributed this feeling to narcissism combined with alcohol. After the first three pieces I had to have seconds but my little sister had already beat me to the second serving. This is when I realized that maybe it wasn’t all in my head. My final confirmation was when I woke up and was craving the last six pieces but they had already been consumed by my cousin. My mouth is watering right now just thinking about it. I can’t wait to make this for somebody so that I can try it again.

p. s. If you can tell me why I called it pizza plus and list the source, I will truly respect your trivia prowess.